If Your Girlfriend Won’t, She is Probably Not Your Girlfriend

The top 10 things Google says your girlfriend won’t do. Actual results Google auto populates when you type in “my girlfriend won’t.”

1. Give me head. Yes, this is #1. It’s actually #1 through #10, but Google’s algorithms filter out duplicate answers.

If Your Girlfriend Wont Give Head, She Might be Your Wife

2. Talk to me. Obviously, Google left out the “how do I get her not to…” part of the answer.

3. Let me go down on her. We know that at least 80% of hot young girls have bi-sexual tendencies, so this must be #3 because of all the girl-girl hook ups going on out there. Answer: just strap one on, girlfriend!

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4. Kiss me. As long as she gives head, this shouldn’t matter.

5. Put out. Listen dude, if she’ not putting out for you, she’s not your girlfriend. She’s either putting out for someone else, or she is your wife.

6. Shave. Nasty….

7. Touch me. I guess this is OK, as long as she’s willing to take a good load to the face often enough.

8. Open up to me. Hm. If you asked this question you are either, 1) gay, or 2) talking about her legs.

9. Get a job. Listen guys, it’s either a get a job or I give you blow jobs. Why do you think they call them blow JOBS.

10. Go down on me. Yes. Same question. Different words. Dude! If she’s not slurping popsicle she’s not your girlfriend. Quit fooling yourself and video date a SoCalGlamourGirl instead!

Remember guys, do be a real sugar daddy you have to get some sugar. Go Daddy…

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