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Dr. Gordon Gallup at the State University of New York a well known sexual psychologist, recently discovered that women who get regular doses of semen were less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide that those who don’t get a regular load.

This study for the Archives of Sexual Behavior sampled 700 women and also found that women who did not get regular amounts of semen were more likely to initiate sex and seek out new partners as soon as their current relationship ended. This literally demonstrates a cumshot rebound effect, suggests Gallup. Semen contains hormones including testosterone, estrogen, prolactin and other essential hormones that have been proven to elevate mood.

Why don’t all women get more regular loads of semen instead of relying on Prozac or other subscription drugs that simply contribute to Pfizer corporate profits? “Because they are chunky, not-so-pretty and conditioned by society that a big messy cumshot is a naughty thing,” says the Harvard research team at SoCalGlamourGirls.

Nevaeh Eden, Glamour Model and Sexy News Girl

However, more study is necessary in order to determine whether a female’s method of ingestion is important. For now, “just swallow” appears to suffice. So guys, next time your girlfriend seems grouchy, offer to help her out. Remember, it’s important to be a “giver.”

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Interview with a Vampy School Girl, Pt. 1, Nevaeh Eden (socalglamourgirls.com)

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